The Lost Art of Respect

The caption read: “PS, please remind your children that the proper way to respond to an adult is not ‘What”! Growing up with parents with strong roots in the South; addressing an adult as ma’am and sir was the respectful thing to do. When you walked into someone’s house, you spoke to everyone. If grown-ups were talking, children left the room. If a grown-up calls out to you, the proper way to respond was “Yes ma’am/sir”. Sadly, when we look at the youth of today, many would look at you strange if you asked them to address you in this manner. Why? Because they have not been properly taught how to address adults and this is contributing to how they are perceived in the community. I recall my father telling my brother in my youth, to wear a dress shirt and tie to an interview that would determine whether or not he would secure a spot in the electrician’s union. My father wanted him to present himself in a manner that was respectful and showed that he valued the opportunity. Over the years, working in various fields, I’ve come to understand the value in dressing the part as well as articulating and being respectful of those that can either offer you a position or decline the invitation for a position to you. Many times, it comes down to diction and etiquette. Our youth are not being taught the importance of respect and being respectful. The dictionary defines respect as a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements; due regard for feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. With the new generation challenging authorities and traditions at every turn and asserting their right to speak out, respect seems to be a lost art. What is the Difference Between Then and Now? It is important to note that the parenting styles have drastically changed from the styles we grew up with. With that, comes a sense of outspokenness that generations before us would consider disrespectful. As a mother, I encourage my children to communicate their thoughts and feelings with me, but in a respectful way. Voices should maintain a level tone, and they should always use respectful dialogue when addressing myself as well as any other adult they are communicating with. I believe that we can still encourage their independence and voice and still teach respect. Occasionally, like generations before them, children can get besides themselves and as a parent, we have to lovingly guide them back to the respect principle and make sure that they understand when they are disrespectful and why it is considered disrespectful to us. As the saying goes, “If you knew better, you would do better.” Many parents just expect children to automatically adapt to a respect principle that we haven’t talked to them about. I consider it a lost art because we cannot expect a child to exemplify something that they haven’t been adequately taught. So, if you didn’t teach them that it is not acceptable to sit under grown-ups talking, they are going to do it. If you haven’t taught them to answer adults “yes” or “yes ma’am” then how can we come to expect it. Training of our children starts in our homes and in our village. If your village is cursing and talking in profane tones around your children, please expect that will be the tone and mannerism that the child will take when addressing others. We have to model the respect we want our children to emulate. Often times you hear parents say “Do as I say not as I do”, but children are more inclined to do as they see, so if you want to see respect, make sure you are modeling respect in your everyday walk. Together we can model to our children what a world where people respect one another looks like if we would be willing to walk it out in our day to day lives. What are you modeling to your children in your daily interactions? Are you modeling respect or are you advocating for a generation where the art of respect is lost? Let us be a part of the solution instead of the problem plaguing the next generation.